25. INT: AFTERNOON - THE CHURCH/CONVENT

The interior of the CHURCH/CONVENT is still desecrated. In stark contrast to LT's own local "White Church" [cf. LT's daughter's communion, Scene 22].

POLICE ROPES have cordoned off certain desecrated areas of the CHURCH. In other places, MOPS and SLOPPY BUCKETS of SHIT-WATER wait for someone to finish cleaning up.

LT appears to be entirely alone in the CHURCH. He is desperate for clues. He searches for leads, and perhaps, for something else...

CU - He lights a CANDLE, gives a QUARTER.

Then LT lights his CRACKPIPE over the flame.

Suddenly, the NUN appears.

LT hides, watches as the NUN enters the confessional. Once she is ensconced inside, LT stealthily approaches and from just outside the CONFESSIONAL - a tantalizing proximity - he listens as she confesses to the PRIEST. This is an elderly PRIEST with a striking, unusual voice. Not the arriviste MONSIGNOR. (cf. COPS' interrogation of the NUN, Scene 20].

NUN

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last confession. Father, my sin is a terrible sin. A sin of omission. There was another sin that happened at the same time, and in the same place, but my sin I think was graver still.

PRIEST

Sister, we all know what happened to you yesterday morning. I expected that you would want to speak to me about it. But you could have come to my office. Your being here, in the confessional, implies that you, Sister, have done something wrong. You haven't. I assure you. I feared you might have misplaced feelings of guilt. If you condemn yourself because you experienced feelings of... curiosity or even... pleasure, you mustn't -

The NUN LAUGHS. At first, it sounds like crying. But it is a strange, low laughter.

NUN

Father, if only it was so trivial. So natural. So - forgettable. No, I have sinned. And you must listen, if you are to prescribe an appropriate act of contrition, and to absolve me. Father, what would you do if you had but one day in which to use your arms to serve God?

PRIEST

It's funny, you know. But the first thing I think of is kneading the bread that I help bake for the soup kitchen. Maybe that's because the muscles in my arms still hurt.

NUN

I also thought of that bread, Father. And of that night six days ago when the Mother Superior died, and I kept the cool, damp cloth on her forehead freshly moist. Father, what would you do if you had but one day in which to use your legs to serve God?

PRIEST

I think of running for help, and falling to my knees in prayer.

NUN

As I have prayed day and night since the desecration of this church yesterday morning - and my sin. You see, Father ?

PRIEST

Yes, Sister?

NUN

Yesterday morning, God gave me but one chance to use something else to serve Him. Not my arms or my legs, but something I used for the first time, for the last time, and will never use again. My vagina.

Outside the CONFESSIONAL, LT reacts to the explicit word. Shock, titillation - and fascination.
 

NUN

Those boys, those sad, raging boys... They came to me as the needy do, and like many of the needy, they were rude. Like all the needy, they took. And like all the needy, they needed.

(beat)

Father. I knew them. They learn in our school. And play in our schoolyard. And they are good boys.

PRIEST

You knew them?

(beat)

Who were they, Sister? Who are these boys? What are the names of these - good boys you knew?

Outside the CONFESSIONAL, LT stiffens. This could be the clue he needs to solve the case - and to earn the reward money that would save his skin.

NUN

I could tell you their names now, and I know you'd be bound by a sacred vow to keep my secret. But I cannot tell you their names. For I, too, am bound. As I am bound now to confess my sins. So listen, Father. Listen.

(beat)

I am a nun. What did I give those boys that they could not have found elsewhere? Nothing. Nothing at all. There were always two of us in the act. The act was half my own. It does not seem to me the act was half the act of a bride of Christ.

(beat)

It is the lost chance that will remain on the ledger of my sins. Not the loss of my virginity. The rape forced upon me a choice. As a vessel of the spirit, I could have imbued my vagina with God. Or, I could have turned away from God and voided my body of spirit, so that all that was left for those boys was a lump of flesh. I chose the second path. The easier, path. The path of the material world. The path no nun has the right to take. And so, I sinned.

(beat)

My vagina spread, but spread no word. It opened, on nothingness. It gave nothing at all and left nothing behind. No trace of my act, yes my act, for I was there, too, remains in the landscape of God.

The NUN'S description of the RAPE is both a turn on for LT and a matter of profound curiosity. Something divine. His silent reactions embody both decadence and sacred awe. At times, this apparent paradox finds unified expression in his character; at other moments it threatens to tear him apart. Tension between the two polarities propels him toward his destiny.

NUN

Jesus turned water to wine. I ought to have turned bitter semen to fertile sperm - hatred to love. And maybe to have saved their souls. They did not love me. I ought to have loved them. As Jesus loved those who reviled him. I ought to have surprised those boys. Instead, they surprised me, and got no surprise at all. No, they did not rape a nun. But a nun has been raped. And the nun must now atone for her sin. For a God-given part of her was wasted. A part which other women use for procreation, for conjugal fulfillment, for expression of love. I had but one chance. And I did nothing but react in pain.

(beat)

When those boys placed their hands upon my breasts, they had nothing but an assortment of skin cells in their grasp. They ought to have felt, through me, the bosom of their Redeemer. When they lay on top of me and looked down into my eyes, they saw fear. They should have met the eyes of a lover. And felt the presence of the Prince of Peace.

(beat)

My vagina, I shall never have again. And never again shall I encounter two boys whose prayer was more legible, more poignant, more anguished. Two young men who threw themselves upon the altar and took me with them. And I did nothing for them. I can only hope that someone will.

LT can't help but start up. As if the NUN knew he was there and cried out to him. Asked him to complete her mission.

She begins to whisper the ACT OF CONTRITION. The confession is over. LT snaps to.

The NUN does penance. LT exits the CHURCH/CONVENT.

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